One thing I’ve realized in my years as a enterprise proprietor—and as an individual—is that the widespread denominator of lots of people’s issues is just not with the ability to say “no.” After we be taught to say no, we will concentrate on transferring ahead, nourish our passions and, most significantly, defend our psychological well being. No good can come from people-pleasing behaviors and consistently denying our personal wants. 

So, why is saying no so laborious? 

Though a great query, it’s a loaded one. Many components play into the reply, together with the easy indisputable fact that when folks ask for a favor or so that you can take one thing on, quite a lot of feelings come up. Saying no to those requests could be perceived as egocentric—whether or not it’s an inside wrestle or a wrestle with saying no to a consumer, coworker, worker or employer. Some folks might take your “no” as not caring about them, or others may even see it as an indication of weak spot.

Take into consideration when you need to inform a consumer that you’re unable to groom their canine for one cause or one other and the way upsetting it sometimes is for each of you. Or perhaps it’s time to inform an worker that their objectives for their very own profession don’t align with your corporation mannequin. It’s a tough dialog to have, and it’s one which leaves each of you distressed. Human brains need good, optimistic experiences. We crave the “really feel good” impact that comes from endorphins, and we don’t wish to be seen as tough. 

That is even more true for people who find themselves part of the service business. We’ve a picture (a model) to uphold. Society is fast to show a “no” into a foul evaluate or adverse gossip a couple of enterprise. The concern of the negativity that may fall upon a enterprise performs an enormous function within the issue many enterprise house owners and staff have saying no. This concern causes a downward spiral as a result of we’re not being true to ourselves, and this fixed preventing with ourselves results in burnout. 

Did any of this resonate with you? 

The percentages are stacked towards us relating to people-pleasing, so it’s no surprise we have now such a tough time. Saying sure when folks ask us for one thing is extra pure, optimistic and what we’re educated to do when offering a service in right now’s society. 

Finally, I acquired sick of being burnt out, making an attempt to stay as much as society’s unrealistic expectations of grooming, and maintaining with the calls for of potential and present staff, so I knew I needed to discover a technique to change it. An energetic change needed to be made to guard my psychological well being. However it doesn’t matter what I learn or did, it by no means appeared to stay, and I all the time discovered myself saying sure once I wished to say no. I adopted ideas and tips precisely as they had been laid out and nonetheless wasn’t seeing outcomes. 

The issue was that I wasn’t using what works for me and my thought processes. I wanted one thing greater than, “Do that repetitively, and alter will come simpler.” It doesn’t matter what I attempted, I stored falling again into previous habits. 

So, I attempted one thing new. I began to interrupt every “no” down. As soon as I outlined the no and the rationale I wished to say it, I might give you methods to face behind it. Subsequent, I requested myself: How can I say no however sure on the identical time? Following these steps, I discovered my very own system that works for me. I’m now in a position to say no with out feeling responsible. 

So, simply how can we are saying no with out feeling responsible or giving in? 

Right here a couple of ideas which have labored for me:

1. Listing it out. All of us have an inventory of issues we wish to say no to for one cause or one other. Listing them out so they don’t seem to be taking on area in your head. Don’t overthink it; simply begin writing. If you’re an individual who has a tough time concentrating in a single sitting, strive conserving a pocket book with you or coming into them in your cellphone. As you go about your day, jot issues down once they pop up. Take your huge checklist and slim it down by inserting every merchandise in a class. I often have two classes: private {and professional}.

2. Focus. Decide one listed merchandise to give you a gameplan for. This doesn’t must be the merchandise that’s most vital to you. You may choose one thing that could be best to work with in the intervening time. Generally the better ones provides you with momentum as you’re employed on them so you possibly can construct as much as the tougher ones.

3. Outline your “why.” You will need to perceive why it’s essential say no to this merchandise. Your why will make it easier to keep on observe when following by means of along with your no.

4. Plan for adversities. What might pop up that might cease you from following by means of along with your no? Right here’s a useful trace when itemizing this stuff: It’s often the justifications that you just inform your self, so dig by means of these first.

5. Discover the “sure.” We’re wired to say sure, so why will we really feel that we have now to work towards that? Provide you with some alternate options to your no you can say sure to. These choices have to align with you and your values or else you’ll not follow saying no. 

6. Follow. Begin these practices immediately. The longer you dwell on them, the tougher they are going to be to implement. 

Pricing is a good instance of one thing many enterprise house owners and groomers wrestle to alter. Elevating costs could be scary as a result of the consumer in all probability received’t be proud of having to pay more cash. Regardless, we have to elevate costs for a large number of causes; with the ability to pay aggressive wages, pay for elevated prices, handle inflation, account for advancing ability ranges, and so on. After we elevate costs, we concern battle, getting our emotions harm or shedding shoppers. However these fears are a few of the adversities we should always plan for that would get in the best way of claiming no.

Now, what sort of sure’s can we give to our shoppers to face behind the worth improve? Can they arrive in additional usually to offset an even bigger improve? Are you able to go shorter with the lower to elongate the time in between grooms? Are you able to add in an additional service that doesn’t value a lot however provides worth for the consumer? No matter works finest for you and your corporation mannequin could be the reply to strolling that line between sure and no. When you’ve determined what your sure’s are, you can begin saying no with extra confidence and fewer battle.

This method has allowed my groomers to change into extra assured of their selections and make saying no a lot simpler. It permits me to make sensible enterprise selections and stand behind them. 

Folks will all the time have one thing to say, and whereas we can not management different folks’s reactions, we will management the choices we make behind rising our companies. Make saying no simpler from the beginning so you’ll have extra time to concentrate on the issues that matter to you and make sense for your corporation. ✂️

Denise Heroux

Denise Heroux has spent 25 years within the grooming business. She grew to become a enterprise proprietor in 2014, and since then, she has constructed her model to incorporate over 20 staff and three areas endlessly for growth. Taking the step into the following chapter of her profession, she has determined to make use of her in depth expertise to assist the enterprise house owners within the grooming business. She’s calling this new endeavor “The Formidable Groomer,” providing teaching, management, and worker seminars to assist create an awesome grooming enterprise each for the house owners and their staff.